January 1st, 2010

I have decided that for the year of 2010 I am going to take at least one picture per day, every single day of the year and keep a journal/blog about it. I had a hard time struggling to decide whether or not I wanted to keep a hard copy, handwritten journal, or an online blog that everyone could read. Ultimately I decided upon a digital blog for plain and simple, simplicity. Printing out pictures and handwriting journal entries is a very time consuming process, and this just seemed easier. I do believe that periodically I will print out pictures and start keeping an album of them. So, Welcome to my first post of the year!

This morning I woke up to the wonderful and gorgeous girlfriend of mine, Ashley. The picture for today is of her and I when I dropped her off at her car. That was the last time I will see her until May, when she will come home to live with me for the summer! :] Last night was interesting...Ashley and I made leaps and bounds in our relationship, but Goose and I ended ours. It was very depressing. Ending a relationship that has been building for practically our whole lives. It's difficult being in our position. I realize that he is young and isn't ready for the same kind of commitment that I am looking for, but it is h

eartbreaking to not be in his life at all. I'm sure this is just a test in whatever is going to happen in our future, but for the time being him and I are over. I also took the time to go and have a conversation with Will and we have also agreed to stop seeing eachother. Again, he wasn't looking for the same kind of relationship I am looking for. I had to work today at the portrait studio for a few hours and that was a blast. I'm getting impatient waiting to know whether or not I'll get to keep doing this job. Although I hope I do. I love my job and it's wonderful. I can't wait to start working on the house and move in! It is going to be SO exciting to live on my own. I'm sure there will be pictures of the house in the near future.

Today was an exceptionally difficult day. January 1st was my due date for my pregnancy that I terminated when I was 16. She would have been two years old today. And that absolutely blows my mind. I called the father, Terry, last night, but he didn't answer. Typical Terry. Deep down inside I know that I made the right decision...but it never stops me from wondering how different my life would have been if I would have kept her. But everything happens for a reason...